June 16, 2017 was my last day of work at a beautiful place. I'm thinking about it less frequently. This past week I discovered that not only are 2/3 of my t-shirts black, which is terrible in hot and sunny weather, but 2/3 of my t-shirts are from my old company, and I don't want to wear them right now, it's too fresh.
However, the bitterness of a bittersweet departure has gradually faded, probably thanks to such ridiculous things as Facebook and texts, where my coworkers are still showing their presence in my life. The convenience of social media, even if I'm checking it less than I would at work, cannot be overlooked.
Life still feels like a long vacation at the moment, and I'm guessing another week or two will get me to summer vacation boredom, although I'm hesitant to assume I understand that feeling any longer. It has been at least 16 years since my last summer off, after all.
I've been unable to stop myself from writing a bit, so I'm optimistic about intrinsic motivation preventing my Netflix couch potato-dom. We shall see!
Monday, June 26, 2017
Monday, June 19, 2017
Retirement, Day 1
It's actually day 3. But it's the first real day. The first Monday. Right now it feels like I've just taken the day off, although now and then I get a little sniffly thinking of my coworker buddies I don't get to see every day anymore. My ex-workplace is great in so many ways and I have a number of people I need to keep seeing. Hopefully they'll still want to hang, and work wasn't the only thing we had in common.
Today is bittersweet with a side of turkey bacon. I miss everyone already, but I'm looking forward to the detox, catching up on entertainment, and hopefully writing a lot more.
Today is bittersweet with a side of turkey bacon. I miss everyone already, but I'm looking forward to the detox, catching up on entertainment, and hopefully writing a lot more.
Friday, May 5, 2017
The Glacial Pace of Progress
With my pending departure from the working world, I've been thinking about the direction of my life through my not-long career.
Eleven years ago, I was pretty sad about not being quite good enough at linear algebra in code to be a graphics programmer, but excited about all the money I'd be making at Microsoft.
Or 9 years ago, when I had paid off my student loans and decided that I didn't want to work for a living until I was 60, and then be a tourist.
And 8 or so years ago, when I started doing productive things inside of work to get where I wanted to be and aggressively reading those cliche classics like The 7 habits of highly effective people alternating with books about how to become a CEO in the shortest time possible by climbing the ladder. A big, aggressive company that is very supportive of type-As will do that to you.
Or even 2 years ago, when I started intentionally trying to do productive things outside of work that would move me in a direction I wanted outside of work.
The 11 years ago me? Didn't know that I'd move on to become a game producer at a AAA studio in only 7.5 years. In fact, here at 11 years, I'm senior staff. People actually value my advice. But 11 years ago? Nothing could move fast enough. I hated what I was doing, coding for an aggressive company as an SDET. A lot of time was wasted feeling sorry for myself and wishing things could be otherwise.
The 8 years ago me had to hope for this year, the year I'm finally not dependent on an employer for my income, in order to make it through another work day. I had to dream hard being CEO, about there being some sort of hope, and convince myself that's what I might want just to handle the in-between. But 8 years later, here I am retiring and going to do whatever I want.
And 2 years ago I drew people's faces as a circle with eye-shaped eyes and a triangle minus one line nose and nostrils were so difficult and now? Well I'm still not any good but at least I'm not drawing cheesy 4th-grade icons to fill up faces. And I can kind of play some ukulele!
And it's different when it's you. Progress is glacial. But the you in a year? Or 2 years? Or 10 years? Will be so far beyond the you now, that it's impossible to imagine. Whereas the you in 10 years that fantasized the whole time will be exactly like the you now. What do you want to be, right now? And what are you doing to achieve it?
Real progress is seen in months and years, but gained moment to moment.
Eleven years ago, I was pretty sad about not being quite good enough at linear algebra in code to be a graphics programmer, but excited about all the money I'd be making at Microsoft.
Or 9 years ago, when I had paid off my student loans and decided that I didn't want to work for a living until I was 60, and then be a tourist.
And 8 or so years ago, when I started doing productive things inside of work to get where I wanted to be and aggressively reading those cliche classics like The 7 habits of highly effective people alternating with books about how to become a CEO in the shortest time possible by climbing the ladder. A big, aggressive company that is very supportive of type-As will do that to you.
Or even 2 years ago, when I started intentionally trying to do productive things outside of work that would move me in a direction I wanted outside of work.
The 11 years ago me? Didn't know that I'd move on to become a game producer at a AAA studio in only 7.5 years. In fact, here at 11 years, I'm senior staff. People actually value my advice. But 11 years ago? Nothing could move fast enough. I hated what I was doing, coding for an aggressive company as an SDET. A lot of time was wasted feeling sorry for myself and wishing things could be otherwise.
The 8 years ago me had to hope for this year, the year I'm finally not dependent on an employer for my income, in order to make it through another work day. I had to dream hard being CEO, about there being some sort of hope, and convince myself that's what I might want just to handle the in-between. But 8 years later, here I am retiring and going to do whatever I want.
And 2 years ago I drew people's faces as a circle with eye-shaped eyes and a triangle minus one line nose and nostrils were so difficult and now? Well I'm still not any good but at least I'm not drawing cheesy 4th-grade icons to fill up faces. And I can kind of play some ukulele!
And it's different when it's you. Progress is glacial. But the you in a year? Or 2 years? Or 10 years? Will be so far beyond the you now, that it's impossible to imagine. Whereas the you in 10 years that fantasized the whole time will be exactly like the you now. What do you want to be, right now? And what are you doing to achieve it?
Real progress is seen in months and years, but gained moment to moment.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
7.5 years, aftermath
It's been quite a while since I left the Redmond Software Giant for greener pastures, or at least video games-ier pastures.
Looking at my wise learnings and advice to myself from my time at Microsoft and myself now, I have to say that humans are a tiny bit inclined to make the same mistakes on the hamster wheel of life, even if they are being given good advice by somebody who is, if I say so myself, not un-smart. It's our nature to stick to habits because they're comfortable, even if they aren't very good for us, and creating a new habit is hard. Recognizing an old one and killing it is even harder.
And so, reflections on the learning and lessons to myself, that I hope anyone could benefit from:
Looking at my wise learnings and advice to myself from my time at Microsoft and myself now, I have to say that humans are a tiny bit inclined to make the same mistakes on the hamster wheel of life, even if they are being given good advice by somebody who is, if I say so myself, not un-smart. It's our nature to stick to habits because they're comfortable, even if they aren't very good for us, and creating a new habit is hard. Recognizing an old one and killing it is even harder.
And so, reflections on the learning and lessons to myself, that I hope anyone could benefit from:
- Keep forming friendships with people you don't work with directly.
- You still have a right to discuss your salary, but no one wants to.
- Keep up to date on the office gossip, but try not to add to it.
- Company review systems are much less important than you think.
- Keep loving the company or shut up. No one wants to hear you badmouth your old employer.
- Don't burn bridges. If you do, hope that you're forgotten.
- Still try to know people who aren't the majority type.
- Nothing is personal, but maybe it should be. Let's stop calling people 'resources', eh?
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